I come from a big family. I’m the youngest male, I have four older brothers. Each of them had different opinions about my decision, but the one who always gave me the greatest psychological support was my oldest brother. He opened a door so I could see my own inner strength, and I walked through it myself. Everyone in the house blamed my oldest brother for me leaving school, but he had absolutely nothing to do with it.
I told everyone over and over: this was my decision. Within 2-3 days the entire neighborhood was gossiping about me dropping out. Most of them came to our house just to piss my father off and talk about it. I had made a promise to myself. The power that promise gave me kept me going. I was constantly subjected to psychological bullying. That first year after leaving school was so incredibly hard that every single day was spent just working in my room.
I had already made a blacklist in my mind; everyone who hurt my soul was going to pay for it one day. At the same time, I started ventures in many different areas and began taking huge steps in what I was doing. The pressure to go back to school was still there, but for me it wasn’t even an option anymore. By the end of the first year, everyone at home had finally accepted it. My own work started progressing even more, and then new problems appeared, above all loneliness. That feeling is the most active emotion in my life.
Every moment, everywhere, I am alone. I miss the friend circle I had at school. I have no friends now. All of this is so hard, believe me, incredibly hard. I’m dealing with very tough things, and on top of that the weight of loneliness is crushing. I knew it was going to be like this, but I never imagined it would be this hard. I always tell myself the same thing: “Even if I were still in school today, I would do exactly the same thing again.”
