It was the summer of 2022. I was in the last year of middle school. My classmates had gathered around me, and we were talking together. Everyone knew that I was always in different thoughts, so they found it normal when I suddenly said anything.
And suddenly, I said, “I’m going to drop out of school.” Everyone thought I said it only in that moment, because I was the best student in the school, so saying something like that seemed very strange to them. I tried to explain to them that I really meant it – school had started to interfere too much with the steps I wanted to take in my life. Another thing was that our families always believed school was the only path to salvation, yet they still didn’t even know what salvation really was.
As the days and months passed, I tried to prepare myself in the best way I could. I had about a year and a half ahead of me, and that was quite enough for me. Even though I was sure I would drop out of school, I would still take the final exam – because I wanted to show my darkness to people there. I had two possibilities in front of me: to spend the rest of the school year preparing only to leave school, or to completely finish my preparations for leaving and immediately start studying for the high school exam.
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